Don't Forget to Remember
by Mario Tobler
Summary: David leaves Ellie broken. In desperation, Joel unwittingly turns to the last place he ever expected. Memories intact, Joel wakes up 5 days before the outbreak into a world unaware of the coming danger. In a rush, Joel tries to prepare his family and keep them together as they travel to Boston, but Joel promised to be better for the ones he loved, he forgot to mention saving them.


**A/N:** Hey! This is my first foray into new waters in years, and I'm excited to see how it turns out. I came late to this game, but somehow never got spoiled and every new scene was an emotional roller coaster! In short, I was hooked. This is a lot shorter than the chapters you can expect from me, but it's a preview of the hopefully epic story to come. I think I can bring an original viewpoint to the fandom and I can't wait to share it with you!

 **The Last of Us: Don't Forget to Remember**

"Ellie! Stop! Stop!" Adrenaline pushed Joel from the door in a flash, the sharp pain in his side barely noticeable as a dull ache.

"Don't you fucking touch me!" Ellie tried to squirm from his grasp with all her might as he fought to calm her.

"It's okay, it's me." Joel exhorted her to look at him, finally grasping her trembling cheeks in his hands, forcing eye contact.

Clarity sparked for a moment in her eyes before becoming hidden behind more grief. "He tried to…"

"Oh baby girl…" Involuntarily Joel reached for Ellie, drawing her into his soaked chest. He gripped her as if for the first time, ignoring the bile that threatened to rise from his throat at her comment. "It's okay. It's okay."

Joel pulled back and looked into her eyes, not bothering to hide his matching tears. "Let's get you out of here, somewhere warm."

Something about the way she blankly stared at him told him she didn't want to be warm, and she may not have even heard him. He placed his arm around the frail girl, trying to lead her out, to somehow show her through his touch that things could be normal again. He took a quick look at the man with a machete sticking from his face. The man was completely unrecognizable. Ellie had hacked him so well that Joel couldn't tell this lump of human from a roadside clicker.

Joel had seen the monstrous things this place had to offer. Based upon what the kind, easy going girl had done to the man, he didn't want to know what she had seen of the place. He tried to put the past behind him as his senses took over, as if sneaking from danger had become muscle memory. Ellie, bless her heart, if he didn't have his arm around her he wouldn't know she was there with how well she snuck beside him. 'Damn the world that made her grow up so quick'. He shook his head as he slunk, cursing God never got him anywhere, didn't even release stress anymore.

Joel led Ellie outside the city, taking the long way back to the house they had been holed up in. They needed to gather the supplies and make a retreat, just in case they were being followed. He half carried the trembling girl as the adrenaline began to fade and he stumbled in pain on a soft patch of snow. With a sharp cry his knee hit the ground, nearly bringing Ellie down with him. Joel was surprised when his stubborn partner didn't panic and yank at his hand to pull him up as he expected.

Ellie sank into the ground next to him with a sigh. A quick glance made Joel purse his lips to avoid showing the emotion he was feeling. The sweet girl he had known had somehow been replaced with a blanks stare covered in blood and tears. She seemed content to just sit here with him in this blizzard, steadfastly refusing to let go of his arm.

"We gotta get out of this cold baby," Joel rose with a grunt. As he began walking he had a feeling she only followed because she didn't want to lose contact with him. Her hand slid down his forearm and into his hand as he led her the last few miles to their hideout.

After a few maneuvers, Joel was finally sure they hadn't been tracked or followed. "We gotta leave quick, so find your things and we'll head."

"Joel, we can't." Ellie finally broke the silence.

"Ellie, we gotta get out quick before they come looking." Joel pleaded as he led her further in, still with her latched to his hand. "I know you don't want to just now…"

"We're staying." She said with finality, "So, just go and change for bed."

"Ellie…"

"Stop 'Ellie'ing me!" she snapped at him, "I'm not weak, I'm not. I'm just…"

Scared. Joel felt it without her saying it. Going against his survival instincts for the first time in decades he relented to the young girl. "Okay."

"Okay?" She seemed almost surprised, but kept her emotionless face intact as she nodded. She looked down to his hand, still holding hers and slowly let it go. "Be quick."

Joel walked into the other room with a fresh shirt and a towel to wipe the blood off before he slept. Ellie was more torn up than even he realized. He didn't expect her to be bubbly, even the listlessness was to be expected. She was never the most touchy person, never really touching him beyond the occasional attempted high five or arm punch. Whatever that fucker did to her he didn't know how to fix, he couldn't begin to be able to help her. He'd bash a clickers head in for her, but repairing a fragile mind was something he was completely unequipped for. Joel found himself feeling guilty, feeling that if he'd gotten to know her a bit better he'd know how to help, instead of always being a cold SOB. Finally he emerged from the room and took in the scene. Ellie had already changed and was laying on the mattress on the floor, turned completely away from him. He balled up his used shirt to make a makeshift pillow, preparing for his uncomfortable sleep.

"What are you doing?" Ellie turned over, emotion returning to her eyes.

"Would you like me to keep watch?" Joel asked as he popped his back. He was so drained, he didn't know if he could make the whole night, but if it would make her feel safer, then he would try.

"No." She averted her eyes before slowly meeting his again, "I left you room."

Joel found himself cursing the mutilated remains of the man from earlier again. He begrudgingly scoot himself onto the cot next to her, his injured side away from her as he slept on his back. She didn't feel safe, he gathered, needed someone she trusted near her. He would be with her as long as she needed. Their relationship had changed after they left Jackson. In the back of her mind she had feared he was trying to dump her off, and in the back of his mind, he was afraid to admit that he was. Once she had realized he wasn't going to abandon her, she latched to him closer than she had before. She was almost like a second daughter…

Joel nearly jumped as he felt a small arm squirm around his chest as Ellie turned into him, snuggling into his chest. He looked down to his chest and made contact with green eyes silently making sure he wasn't going to throw her off. Not knowing when he became such a baby, Joel was silently choking up again. He squirmed his own arm around her, as if trying to protect her from the cruel world outside, as if many of these problems weren't ones that he had a hand in.

"Night baby girl."

Ellie silently snuggled in, as if she hadn't heard him. Even though she was asleep in minutes, she never stopped trembling.

Joel couldn't imagine the dreams that would plague her for the next few months. It wasn't fair that one of the few lights remaining in this damn world was being extinguished in his very arms. He wasn't able to sleep, and could only look up at the ceiling in disgust. Fate was damn cruel.

"How the hell can you live with yourself Old Man." Joel chastised the ceiling. "You got no fucking idea what you're doing up there, do ya."

He hadn't talked to God in years, and now was definitely not the time to get worked up at nothing but the ceiling. He tried to contain himself and breathe without waking up his fellow traveler. Joel wished more than anything that he was talking to more than the ceiling, but he knew better. He had tried to take Sarah to church back home in Austin, but only because she was so taken with it. She had tried to get him baptized for years, but he would politely decline and he would always take her nonetheless.

Just another reason to be mad at the Old Man. Sarah was too young as well. Something about seeing Ellie so hurt earlier had forced up memories he hadn't thought of for years. He shouldn't have sheltered Sarah so much, maybe she wouldn't have gotten hurt, and maybe they would have taken a different path. Anything they could have done would have been better, even staying at the house was preferable, less dangerous.

His life was marked with bad decisions. Getting hurt and making Ellie take the massive burden just being the most recent example. He was sick at himself, and sick at the sky. He turned to the red headed girl on his side who was still trembling, and in an uncharacteristic moment, he felt his usual bitterness at the ceiling subside for a small moment.

"I've done things I don't regret, bad things that I would do again to stay alive. I never deserved Sarah, and I never deserved Ellie." Joel paused as sleep began to claim him and he settled in. "I'm not saying I would do things any differently… But damn I might be better to the people I never deserved."

Joel settled into the cot, pulling Ellie closer to him as he drifted off. He didn't remember placing a small kiss on the small girl's forehead, and he certainly didn't notice the great effect that one small moment can have.

Joel slept soundly, not even disturbed by the morning rush of traffic from nearby Austin, or the blonde lump that jumped on his bed to wake him.

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading so far, I'd love to know what you think. I have a few weeks, maybe a month to hammer out the complete outline. I already have the ending basically decided as well as much of what happens in between outlined onto a couple of pages. Once the updates start coming, they will come very quickly until the end. I'd love to hear where you think I'm going with this and can't wait to write it, and make sure to put this in your update list for when it starts. Thank you!


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